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About Me Member dAmn Addict Emily18/Female/United Kingdom Recent Activity Deviant for 1 Year
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What WAS my life? I mean REALLY?

Tue Nov 17, 2009, 3:32 PM
  • Mood: Sadness
  • Listening to: Nelly Fertado - I'm like a bird
  • Reading: Jane Eyre for English, New Moon for me
  • Watching: Did you see Misfits on Channel 4?? Gooood.
What a load of whiny pointless dribble. 'Ooo there's this boy and I'm -so- heartbroken!!!11!1!!!' To be honest I was/thought I was (whatever) but did I really need to go ON about it so much? What an attention seeking twat.

Anyway, hi there. How are you? It's been a while, I know. There's been a lot of things. I suppose a relevant thing to previous entires is that I have a lovely little boyfriend. Little because he's short, and little because he's 16. (I am now 18, woohoo!) He's also very wonderful in that he's always there. I text him in the middle of the night and he gets up, steals his brother's phone and texts me back. I call him and say I've left my English lesson and I'm coming to visit and he puts down his paintbrush (Warhammer. Ew.) and lets me in. He'll sit and give me a cuddle when I ask him to or he'll jump about like a div. He's very there, and that's good. We've been together about 6 weeks now, it's nice :)

College is alright, if not a bit stressful. There are a couple of people who are just happy and keep me alright. (One of which is the whiny ex from April, believe it or not. We're both over that now :)) There's my lovely Lucy who makes me giggle and takes me shopping and lets me dye her hair and be ever so girly with. There's Ayesha who gives me five minutes, then follows me to entice me out of my toilet cubicle and give me a hug. There's Eleanor who understands all about my Photography fetish and that lovely noise a real camera makes. There's Nathen with his cynical yet still loveable sense of humour who will never be the bad guy, even if he tried. Then, of course, there's my Grant with his little legs and big heart (oo cliche much) and very comfy bed. There's Mark too, the goth with the Lady GaGa obsession, and a very select few others. These people are on the 'make Emily better' wagon and they can't possibly realise how much I love each and every one of them for it.

There's this bit that I've sort of been avoiding because I don't really know how to put it. I guess I'll go the 'formal' way so I don't need to talk about it again. The day after my birthday, 15th October, at about 1/4 to 10 at night, my mum passed away to Cancer. It was peaceful enough and she had all of her most loved around her. Livvie was hysterical so I was more concerned with calming her down but then a nurse took her to a quiet room and I completely lost it. I won't go into it though. We went to see her the next day and she looked exactly like she did when she was asleep, except her hands were wrong; someone had sat them like a doll's. She had her brand new silky pyjamas on and her hair was how she liked it, and then I left. The funeral was perfect for her- the coffin had a field of daffodils printed on the side- and absolutely everyone she knew was there, including the horrible neighbours who always bitched about our dog.

I don't know if I should cry now or not. It's odd, there are times for crying and times for not. I can't really explain it. If you've ever lost someone close, maybe you know what I mean. Maybe it's just me, I don't know.

It's hard. It's very hard. I got put in for counselling this morning.. I sent off my UCAS application too. I don't know. Life's going on, just very differently.

Now is, apparently, a time for crying. It's so strange not having her around, you know? It'll sink in properly one day and I'll pobably spend a week in bed, but then life will go back to how it should be, just with one person missing. And then we'll live our lives without her. It's very, very strange.

That's about it, I suppose. Until I wander this way again


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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: England
  • Interests: I like to write, but just can't nowadays. I love to read. I'm addicted to Twitter.
  • Favourite movie: Ghost, Dirty Dancing, The Notebook, Grease, Hairspray.
  • Favourite band or musician: Cobra Starship, Paramore, Madina Lake, Fall Out Boy, Kings Of Leon, AAR, MCR.
  • Favourite genre of music: Little bits of most things.
  • Favourite poet or writer: Cecilia Ahern or Stephanie Meyer (I KNOW)
  • Favourite photographer: People who take pictures of people.
  • Favourite style of art: Photography or anything of real quality
  • MP3 player of choice: My pretty iPod
  • Favourite game: Irish snap's funny =)
  • Favourite gaming platform: naaaah.
  • Personal Quote: People change.
  • Tools of the Trade: Either a pen and my notebook, or Microsoft Word.

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Comments


:iconshadow-saiyan-ryu:
Human Spell checker.
I are Writer =P

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Everything that matters
breaks in two
Hidden by Owner
:iconxnowornever:
I got writings. I R good.

Dickead. xD

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What if I wanted to break?
:iconshadow-saiyan-ryu:
tut tut.
Caught on dA while in photigraphy.
BUSTED!

xD

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Everything that matters
breaks in two
:iconxnowornever:
Are you stalking me? How did you know they closed it? Whaaaat?? *is confused and slightly scared.*

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What if I wanted to break?
:iconshadow-saiyan-ryu:
I was just saying I caught you......but LOL at you xD

and yes i'm obviously stalking you because i'm madly passionate and obssesively in love with you.
xD

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Everything that matters
breaks in two
:iconxnowornever:
It was because the picture was called porn. They're so closed minded in that office.

You obviously are. Why else skive Computing just to catch me on dA? Computing is so amazing, you must just want me. x]

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What if I wanted to break?
:iconshadow-saiyan-ryu:
.....well that is a good reason to shut you down...

tut. I'm just madly in love and obsessed with dA atm. xD
Just so happens to be lucky for you, that I'm on your page =P

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Everything that matters
breaks in two

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